Original Face

He forgot one thing

    John Mortimer, the barrister and author of such wonderful works as "Brideshead Revisited" and all of the "Rumpole of the Bailey" stories, has a great line.  He states that the three things which Britain has given to the world are: 

• "Oxford Book of English Verse" --the Arthur Quiller-Couch edition
• the English breakfast
• the presumption of innocence.

I would like to add a fourth--treasury tags.  They are the civilized alternative to paper clips or staples. 

Hard for me to have much sympathy

    I know that the convention is to not speak ill of the dead, or the soon to be dead.  I recognize as well that some will say that this is too harsh, but so be it.  I think it is perfect irony that Ted Kennedy has a brain tumor.  I only wish I was there in the imaging suite when it was diagnosed. 
    This has absolutely nothing whatever to do with his politcs.  Nothing.  This has to do with a pompous bastard who used his power and, in so doing, hurt a patient of mine when I was a medical student...because...well, because he could. 
    When I was a third year med student in the neurosurgery department at Georgetown University Hospital one of the patients to whom I was assigned had a brain tumor. One evening the tumor unexpectedly started to increase in size which, in turn, started to squeeze the brain in his skull.  This is a life threatening situation and would require surgery that evening to relieve the pressure by cutting away some of the tumor and re-routing some of the fluid around the brain.  We took this fellow down to the CT machine to get a sense of what the surgical team would face when they operated. 
    We hadn't yet begun to start taking images when Kennedy and a buddy of his, drunk as can be, showed up and demanded that the patient be removed and his friend CT'ed.  My resident explained to the Senator that they would be delighted to scan his pal once the tumor patient was finished.  Kennedy began to shout that he was Ted Kennedy, dammit.  He roared off out of the suite. We all knew that there was going to be trouble, but we had a patient in much much worse shape. 
    A minute or two later the administrator-on-call came into the suite followed by Kennedy.  He told the technician to remove the patient in the scanner at once and to scan the Senator's friend instead.  The tech did as he was told.  We stood there steaming but powerless.
    Now, I am not saying that my patient's outcome would have been any different had these events not taken place.  That is not the point.  The point is that this selfish son-of-a-bitch used his clout not to get a table at a fancy eatery or to be bumped into first class, but to place in jeopardy the life of someone without any regard or care whatsoever.
    Unfortunately I never met Kennedy again.  I guess now I won't.  But I hope that when he went for his tumor imaging he had to wait and wait. 
    Karma, neh?

Geeks are good

    I am not obsessive compulsive and I shouldn't try to be.  I have learned that if not the hard way, then at least in a pretty expensive way this week.  On Wednesday I decided to do some housekeeping--on the Mac.  Relabeling files, creating appropriate clusters, clearing caches and deleting old folders....OOPS.
    Those document files with the work on the book and old writing projects?  Why can't I find it--with Finder?  I couldn't have put it in the trash bin...the trash bin I just emptied, could I?  Of course I could--and did.  Time to call rent-a-geek.
    They came with their little computer ambulance and took away Wilbur (my Mac's name...after Mr. Ed's owner) to the Geek hospital to pump its stomach and find the old files.  Two and half days later...with its dad worried sick...it came home.  Files restored and its hard drive and system files all buffed and shiny.
    Phew....that's what I get for cleaning stuff up.  I'll know better from now on.

Musical theater quiz time

    Back by popular demand (well, this is the first time and only I thought of it, but you get the idea...) it is Musical Theater Quiz Time!!!!  Don't all call out -- raise your hands.

    According to the title song of this musical where is it that:

  "The Underworld can meet the Elite"?

You have 30 seconds, as of.......Now.

Smirk

    A philosophy joke:

Descartes is riding in a coach and the passenger next to him asks if he would like a piece of a pear.  Descartes replies: "I think not" and disappears.

Gilbert was prescient

    If you tried to call me today and didn't get through, I apologize.  Hold on, actually I shouldn't be the one apologizing, ATT should.  Because due to a computer SNAFU caused by Leap Day, my phone service was snapped off and it took me and customer service nearly an hour this evening to get things straightened out.  The problem was a personal example of what all the hub-bub was about regarding 01/01/00.
    You see, I have my cell account on my AMEX card.  The card expires every four years at the end of February. On those particular March 1s, a new account number is substituted.  But the computers think that there are twenty-eight days in February, not twenty-nine.  So last night they canceled my old number and looked for a new one.  As March 1 hadn't yet happened, there was no new number yet to be had.  And without a credit card on file, no more cell phone for Jimmy.
    Trying to explain that to the customer service representative was, as Master Card would have put it, priceless, not because it was terrific, as its commercials state, but because I would have given almost any amount of money to get out of that Hell.  "Why don't you have a valid credit card ?," he asked, again and again.  I went into my "Pirates of Penzance" routine and still the lights didn't go on.  "Yes, I see," he would respond, "but why don't you have a valid credit card ?"  Only the fact that he was a disembodied voice prevented me from being arrested for aggravated assault and battery.
    Finally, either because of pity or the fact that he wanted off the call as badly as I did, he agreed to just "make believe" that I had an account starting yesterday.  And that he would give me the rest of February as a "promotional deal."
    I can only imagine what life would have been like for the entire developed world if the computers did indeed glitch at the start of 2000.  It would have ground to a stand still and there wouldn't be enough blood pressure medicine to prevent all of the strokes that would have ensued.
    Oh yeah.  My new AMEX expires on 2/28...2012.  Yes.  It's a leap year.

Zoinks

Bumper sticker seen today in Boston:  "What Would Scooby Do?"

Shrink giggle

    Joke heard at the national meeting of the American Psychoanalytic Association in New York.

Neurotics build castles in the sky,
Psychotics live in them, and
Psychoanalysts collect the rent.

Short stuff

This weekend has been a sports fan's extravaganza, especially if you are in New England,  From the ACLS, to the Pat's amazing win, to the Head of the Charles (in lovely weather), to a close but disappointing World Cup (rugby) championship match in which mere inches prevented an amazing underdog win by England to college football, all have been on hand.  Oh, yes, there was the small matter of the GOP debate tonight as well.  So no time for a regular length column.

• Is Fred Thompson just being a jerk on purpose?  In a "beauty contest" meeting of the Florida Republican Party when every candidate had 30 minutes for his presentation, Thompson had a 15 minute video and then came out and mumbled for five minutes.  Dammit, Fred, at least pretend that you care.

• After Israel's strike against a nascent nuclear processing facility in Syria a few weeks back, it is only a matter of time before they launch an attack against Iran.  France and the United States will not prevent such an effort.  Once it happens, or Iran goes first strike, the conflict in Iraq will seem like the good ol' days. 

• Speaking of Iraq, even the Washington Post is acknowledging the success of the allied forces since the build up against the Al Queda insurgents.  If only the MoveOn crowd would get the message

• I can't fathom the French.  It was fine for Mitterrand to have a mistress so openly that she was seated close to his "widow" at his funeral but "tongues are wagging" because the Sarkozys have divorced and he is beginning to see women.

• If the Republicans lose in 2008 look for both Mike Huckabee and Bobby Jindal to be serious national players in 2012.  Jindal's victory in Louisiana was enormous and marks the emergence of him in the media's imagination.  A pretty good bench for the GOP.

• Both The New Yorker and The New Republic have fascinating articles this past week on classical music that are worth a read.

Batting clean-up...

A couple of things to follow-up from previous posts.

• Even Chris Collingsworth, long time Patriots basher, said on the post-game show after the Pats dismantling of the Cowboys that this 2007 Patriots squad maybe the best NFL team he has ever seen.  As I wrote earlier, enjoy this season, it is something special.
• The Torre era is over officially.  Whilst I have been a big fan, it has been clear for a few months that the end was coming.  His decisions during the playoffs were lack-luster at best.  The Fox broadcast crew, never contenders for having their names announced from Stockholm, were particularly idiotic tonight about Torre's departure, wondering even if Jeter may not want to play for another manager.  Hello???  I think Jeter has nearly 15,000,000 reasons to play next year.  Mattingly has said that he doesn't feel ready for the job.  That may change in the coming days but I still think that Joe Girardi will get the nod.  He would be a good choice.
• Fred Thompson's re-emergence after nearly a week of hiding following the presidential nomination debate was too little, too late.  The curtain is quickly falling on Mr. Thompson, who doesn't seem to care.
• "Call me Dave" Cameron is getting used to being a real conservative as well as a Conservative.  His performance last week at the Dispatch Box was great political theatre and one has the impression that he has the better of Mr. Brown.  The decision of the Liberal Democrats to decapitate themselves presents the Tories with an opportunity.  An early election would suit both parties.
• The President's decision not merely to meet with the Dalai Lama but to make sure China knew of his support for Tibet will have huge ramifications.  For too long China hands have urged that "soft" diplomacy would create a more liberalized China.  It seems that the President's patience has worn thin.  Good.
• James Watson, having had the wrath of the Establishment pour down upon his head, has donned the proverbial sackcloth and ashes pleading for forgiveness.  One thing seems certain: Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton will figure a way to make a buck or two out of this...